Jennie And Debt Management Will Remove The Burden Of High Bills
Are you hear to read all about various types of assistance? Probably, huh? That may not have been the smartest question, but you can expect much better advice as you browse through our website and see what debt management is all about.
Warning: Your debt management call may be monitored so as we can meet quality assurance guidelines
Sometimes we have to do it. Look, this is not your traditional debt management agency. Your parents, or even your siblings - not theirs. And your grandparents? We don't even want to think about what would go on in their minds. By all means keep the senior citizens in need of debt consolidation far away. They would probably go into cardiac arrest if they heard some of the things that go on in the midst of the sessions here.
But hey, it's a changing world, and if our providers can offer "special enticements" to get people thinking about the financial help they desperately need, is that so bad? Is that really such a crime, or something to be up in arms about? Are our programs and personal advice giving methods so wrong, or out of line, for daring to start thinking outside the box a little here? Speaking of box, here is a transcript of a recent call to our hotline:
[NOTE: The debt free aspirant caller, Jonathan Coleman, will be referenced hereafter as "Jonathan" or "Jon." Our staff representative who handled his call (and possibly other things), Jennie Matheson, will be called simply "Jennie." Or perhaps "Jen."
Debt management is calling
JENNIE: Thank you for calling the Debt Counseling Hotline, Jen speaking.
JONATHAN: Oh, hi. I thought it was going to ring all day. Anyway, I was wondering if I could...
JEN: What do you want me to do to you?
JONATHAN: Um, excuse me?
JEN: What do you want to do to me, you bad boy? Talk dirty about credit card debt and how naughty it can be?
JONATHAN: What the --
JENNIE: Are you in need of advice or any sort of credit counseling help? Because that's what we do here at the Hotline. We are ready to get down on all fours and fight your problems until there is simply nothing left of it. We will work it, hard, and ALL NIGHT LONG if we have to. Whatever your ideal debt management program requires.
JONATHAN: You will have to forgive me, but I am not exactly clear on what you just said. Certainly, debt managementof some kind is what I need, since I have bad credit and over $12,000 in credit card de-
JENNIE: OH JON! YOU BEAST!
JONATHAN: What are you talking about?
JEN: I love a strong man that knows how to spend money he doesn't even have... how could give a f--k about debt. A man who can blow money like he has no regard for the traditional conventions of society. You have no idea how hot that gets me.
JONATHAN: Well, I mean, I...
JENNIE: And then, on top of it all, for a man that has that side of him to also wise up and realize that he needs debt management help to make sure things don't get any worse for him financially? You had me at hello.
JONATHAN: So how do your programs even work, I am a little conf-
JENNIE: I just want to suck... the life out of all your debt, you know that, right, baby!?
JONATHAN: Um, that sounds good to me. My credit score is kinda bad also.
JEN: I will personally work that credit score over until you don't even believe what hit you.
JONATHAN: Do you offer this kind of personal debt management attention to every client who calls?
JENNIE: No Jon, only to the worthy ones like you, the ones I know can handle it... and me.
JONATHAN: [speechless]
JENNIE: Oh, I am getting ready to handle you, baby... right after I service all your (financial) needs. Get ready to see what happens when you achieve savings of at least 33 percent annually with Jennie's personal debt consolidation services. OHH!
JONATHAN: I, uhh, don't know what to... say...
JEN: [this portion has been edited due to its explicit content]
JONATHAN: Oh boy, I can't wait for my personal debt management plan!
JENNIE: Ooh, got another call. Talk to you again soon about debt management programs, Jon, K? Bye!
* CLICK * (Dial Tone)
JONATHAN: Hello?
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